Don't Worry, There's Nothing Adult About It - You're Kids Can Participate, Too...
SOME BACKGROUND
Every year our group of friends and their children get together for a
holiday party. Obviously it would be expensive for everyone to buy
everyone else at these parties a present, but there are other options.
One would be to do the Secret Santa exchanges where people draw names
out of a hat, but what if you draw someone's name and have no idea what
types of things they like for gifts? Dirty Santa (also known by many
other names) can help solve that problem.
We have been playing the Dirty Santa game at our annual Christmas
parties for over 5 years. As alcohol is a common favorite at our
parties, we restrict the Dirty Santa exchange to adults only and buy
individual presents for the kiddies. However, this is easily mitigated
so that children and teens can enjoy the festivities of the game by
simply asking your guests not to bring alcohol.
Our Dirty Santa Christmas parties are the highlight of our year and I have
found more and more people asking to be invited when they hear about how
fun they are. We owe most of that to the excitement of the Dirty
Santa Gift Exchange.
GENERAL IDEA
Feel free to participate individually, as a couple, or as an observer.
The game consists of everyone bringing a gift valued between $20 and $25 (or
any other value the host sets). At the end of the night, each participant ends up taking a gift
home.
Gift wrapping should be first class as it helps folks decide which gift
to select. If it is a gift best for a man or woman it can be labeled as
such, but it is not necessary to label the gifts.
What kind of gift works well? Something fun, unique, and
in good taste. Last year family games were the big hit.
As an added bonus, we always do a Surprise Ending Gift. This is to
motivate participants to bring well thought out gifts; the person who
brings along the gift that gets "retired first" gets an additional gift
valued up to $25, courtesy of the hosts.
GAME RULES
So how do we play the game? Let's assume we have 10 players. Someone
writes the numbers 1 through 10 on
ten little pieces of paper, places
the 10 little pieces of paper into a bowl, and everyone draws a number. Before the game begins, if you and another player agree, you may
exchange numbers if you wish. There is no need to keep who has which
numbers a secret. In fact, it might help the game move faster if
everyone knows who is next in sequence; and, it gives the players a
chance to plan their strategies. Whoever is next is usually ready to
jump in and start playing the game so it is usually not a problem with
folks forgetting their numbers. A hidden advantage of knowing the
sequence of the players is it gives those later in the sequence time to
make a bathroom stop, get a drink refill or get seconds on desserts.
The 10 gifts are put in the center of the room or on a table where
everyone can easily pick-up, shake, inspect and select a package. Late
arriving game players can add their gift to the pile of gifts when they
come in and become number 11 and so on. Player #1 picks a gift and
opens it, shows it around, models it, reads it or demos it
(depending on what it is of course). The person with slip of paper #2 is
next. That person can either select another unopened gift or take the gift #1 had opened. If
#2 takes #1's gift, #1 must select another unwrapped gift. Next it is
#3's turn. #3 has two choices. #3 could select a new unopened gift, or
take an already opened gift (#1's gift or #2's gift). Then, if #3 were
to select #2's gift, #2 has two choices. #2 could select another
unopened gift or select #1's unwrapped gift. However, a gift cannot
bounce back and forth between two players without someone else
taking possession of the gift in between. So, #2 cannot select
#3's unwrapped gift because it was just previously taken from #2.
So each player (after the first player) has two choices. When it is your
turn, you take a new unopened gift from the table or you take someone
else's opened gift. When someone takes your gift (let's say an "mp3
player") from you, you cannot immediately turn around and take the "mp3
player" back from the same person who just took it from you. You either
select a new unopened gift or take somebody else’s already unwrapped
gift. And, let's say you ended up with a "music CD". Later someone takes
your "music CD" so now you can go back to the person who previously took
your "mp3 player" and take it back. When you take it back this is the
second time you have had possession of the "mp3 player".
HOW A GIFT BECOMES "RETIRED"
Sooner or later someone else takes your "mp3 player" away from you
again. This time you take someone else's gift, a bottle of rare Scotch.
Then yet another person takes your bottle of rare Scotch from you and
now you can go back and get your "Mp3 player" again. By this time, since
the "mp3 player" was taken from you last, it might have been "owned" by
several other players and in some cases more than once. Now this is the
third time you have owned the "mp3 player" and this time it is yours to
keep. The "mp3 player" is retired and you are now out of the game. The
BIG confusion for some folks seems to be the third time the "mp3 player"
is exchanged that the third owner gets to keep them. Not so. The gift is
retired after the third time a single participant gets the same gift
back into their possession. Using the 10 player game in this example,
each player could take temporary possession of the "mp3 player" twice
for a total of 20 exchanges. However, if you played by the 3rd owner
rule you would only have 3 exchanges. The third time-same owner rule
allows more players to have a chance at the "mp3 player". This also has
a hidden purpose in forcing everyone to keep track of who has had
possession of what gifts and how many times. This makes for more active
involvement rather than passive involvement and is one of the keys to
the games popularity.
HOW THE GAME ENDS
So when does the game end? Using the 10 player game in our example, when
it gets down to player #10 there will be one wrapped gift left in the
center of the room or on the table. Player #10 has the same two choices
that everyone else did (except for player #1). Player #10 can take the
last unopened gift on the table, show it around, model it, read it or
demo it etc. Or, player #10 can take another participants unwrapped gift
(except retired gifts).
COMMON SENSE RULES
If the gift is a food or drink, it absolutely should not be unpackaged
until the game is over and it has been exchanged for the last time.
All gifts must stay in the room and all gifts must remain in sight for
all players to view until the game ends in order to help each
participant determine how they will play their turn out. It goes without
saying that retired gifts are the exception to this rule.
Each participant needs to keep it uppermost in their mind that, no
matter what gift it is they may be holding at the moment, it isn't their
gift unless it has been "retired", or until the last gift has been
exchanged.
ONE LAST THOUGHT
I have heard from other people who host Dirty Santa parties that some
folks complain about the first player only having one choice. If the
gift that the first player opens is a dud (meaning nobody else wants
it), the first player is out of the game before the fun really gets
started. But what folks don't seem to realize is that this can happen to any
player who opens a wrapped gift and finds that it is a dud. That
player is also out of the game as to possible further participation.
As a result of this pity for the first player, a whole bunch of special
rules (swaps at the end of the game, extra gifts added to the pile at
the start or end of the game) have been
suggested. This gets too complicated, involved and has its own set of
problems, misunderstandings, hard feelings and surprises.
The first person has the pick of the litter of all the gifts. No other
player has this advantage. In all the times we have played Dirty Santa
at our annual holiday party we have never had the first player feel
cheated. Any player could select a dud gift whether they are the
first or last player. This is the reason the gifts should be well
thought out. They need to have broad appeal to most people and be
something worth stealing.